Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I love him June.8.2011

you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~ Dr. Seuss

Saw this quote and thought of him. My one and only, the one I never thought I'd find and now who I can't imagine my life without. The one who told me one night as he hugged me goodbye that it wasn't a goodbye at all it was merely a see ya later hug like it has always been. That hug was almost a year ago...and here I sit 11 months after it missing him like crazy. I sit here stress lifted off of me, being super excited for summer (why exactly I am not exactly sure), and wondering how exactly I am going to find the strength to make it through the summer without seeing him. I've come to appreciate school more, it keeps me busy...takes my mind off the one person I can't have. To think that next time this year I will be one. count it. one month away from having him in my arms again makes me crazy-good thing i have a year till then right? Well you might be wondering why I'm writing about this so randomly. Two words Returned Missionaries. Some of my dearest friends are getting their men back this month to be exact. I am SO excited for them, their smiles and excited texts about how he is almost home...then the pictures of them after he returns [its one of the most amazing sites to see I tell you]....But then comes the reality of how much longer you have till your other half comes home. Its odd to be so happy yet a part of you to be lonely-its definitely a feeling I've had to come to accept through this process. I'm that "happy" girl, always has a smile on yet a piece of me feels like its missing [i'm odd I know :/] But in the end their happiness keeps you going for you know that sometime soon that will be you. A life of a missionary girlfriend is rough, no way to say it politely, its a hard road. And the best part is I CHOSE this life, I knew what would come before he left, I knew the sleepless nights, tears for no apparent reason, friends getting sick of you talking about him, people judging you for waiting on someone for two years...but at the end of the day as I lay down to go to bed and close my eyes I picture him and that smile of his..the first time he said he loved me, the first time we kissed, the first time he held my hand, the first time he told me he wanted to marry me, the first time he told me with tears in his eyes that he couldn't imagine his life without me. Each and every week I await a letter from that man, I anxiously read him and reply to him each week-I support him and his obedience to the Lord, I wouldn't honestly want it any other way. I love that he wanted to sacrifice two years of his life for the Lord and to share this wonderful gospel with the people of Texas. I love him, he is my 6'2 giant and I will wait until the day I can get my bear hug again :)

1 comment:

I'm Waiting for a Missionary said...

i TOTALLY know what you mean about that weird in-between feelings stage that we all experience before our men come home. but like you said, that's the life of an mg and it'll be like that until you're finally #1 and you're counting down the hours until you see him again. i'm so glad that we're helping each other through this and i better be one that gets those ridiculously excited texts on your big day! love you :) you're doing an amazing job!